Bad piggies online 2018 sea874/20/2023 ![]() ![]() Contact the moderators if you feel your comment/post should fall under an exception.Exceptions: Discussion of cultural norms Quotations.Do not ask for "male equivalent"/"female equivalent" as these would not exist for most things due to different cultural processes.Do not assume that all women do or think something.Do not ask for us to defend or justify other women’s behaviors.Do not generalize across all people of a gender.Do not speak for all people of a gender.This comment or post has been removed as it contains or solicits graceless generalizations based on gender or speaking for others of a gender. I know it will take me a long time yet to reprogram myself so that the loving thoughts will surface first before the unloving ones, but I maintain hope that I can change, and I hope that you can too! I consider it one of the tragedies of human existence that we’re able to hold both of these views at once. I’m at the point now where I hold both the thoughts in my head at the same time that I’m unlovable and highly lovable. You can remind yourself whenever you like that so and so loves you, so that means you must be at least a little bit loveable. If this sounds familiar to you, what helped me was therapy, but if this isn’t something you want to do, perhaps work on finding a way to keep in mind that you are indeed wanted and lovable.įor instance you have an SO, and likely family members who love you. Now as an adult I feel unwanted and unlovable. As a kid I experienced something that to outsiders might seem innocuous (“you should just get over it”) but which I experienced as a trauma. Your description of struggling socially seems familiar to me. Constantly feeling like a monster who should be locked away is an agonizing place to be. Nowadays I still make an effort to be kind to everyone, but I am especially kind to the “ugly” people. I realized that to many people my value does not lie in being a fellow human being, but rather my value is directly tied to how pleasant I am to look at. ![]() No one glared at me when I navigated a crowded aisle in a store. I got great service in bars and restaurants. People that I had previously treated with kindness who we’re always cold to me in return were suddenly friendly. When I lost weight it was like I had become a different person. At best I was the funny fat friend, at worst I felt like an ogre. I’m naturally a pretty jovial person and I’ve never been afraid to poke fun at myself. Lost 90 pounds, went on birth control to get my acne under control, figured out how to dress, felt a lot better about my health and myself. I had a similar experience when I was in my late teens. I often wonder what kind of person I'd be if didn't have to go through all that stuff. Have no fucking idea what to do with myself when people treat me with kindness for no reason - an interaction with a smiley barista is always a nightmare to me. Always low-key prepared to be insulted, feeling the need to appear as "normal" and neutral as possible in every single conversation, unless it's with my SO. It made my life much easier and opened many opportunities. I could get lost in the crowd, I didn't get stared at, people would talk to me like I'm a normal human being. It was very isolating and affected me deeply.Īfter I lost weight and started putting effort into my looks I suddenly became a person. I felt like a monster and couldn't understand why my appearance is such a huge deal to others. I couldn't go to public places without getting stared at, there were all sorts of super shitty comments both from my peers and adults, etc. When I was an obese kid people didn't treat me like a person. Lost roughly a 100 pounds, started taking care of myself, learned to dress. I'm not beautiful by any means but I went from "hideous" to "normal-looking" in my teens / early twenties.
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